Holding to Pain

I don’t know what to say tonight

Or even how to start.
There are so many scattered thoughts
Weighing upon my heart.
 
The pain from a wound not yet healed,
Worries with more to spare,
And something of an emptiness
That isn’t quite despair.
 
I know that if I take the time
To give them all to You,
Then I will find I have the peace
To turn to something new.
 
But right now I am wallowing
In all the hurt and pain
That I’m not ready to give up,
Or even to restrain.
 
I know it’s selfish of me, Lord,
And more than shameful, too,
That I would rather hold the pain
Instead of holding You.
 
Please help me to break loose from me,
And all my pettiness,
That I might once more know the peace
That comes from happiness.