The panic stuck me suddenly,
While I was on the road.I couldn’t breathe, the tears welled up,
I broke beneath the load.
How will I live when this has passed,
What am I trained to do?How will I care for myself when
Caring for her is through?
I had to pull off of the road
And shove the tears back down.I have no time for what if’s now
And if I cry, I’ll drown.
I’m so far out of the real world
I’ll never fit back in,But I will have to find a way
To do so once again.
So I am doing as you’ve asked,
I give these fears to you.
Oh Lord, I know you have a plan
And you will see me through,
But right now I am so afraid;
I tremble where I stand.The only thing that holds me up
Is living in your hand.
Janet, I know these fears, too, though not in the same way. We wonder about our relevance after we have been care givers for a long time. You still have a lot to give and you are SO smart. We'll work together to find something. Do what you have to do in this day. Tomorrow is to far away to even think about right now. I'm thinking God is pretty proud of you for being obedient to Him, and for trusting him with your overwhelm. I know I am for sure. It's not IF we face hardship...it's when, and how we deal with it when it comes. And though you may not see it right now, you're doing a wonderful job. Your mom has a pretty awesome daughter. I love you, sister-friend.
ReplyDelete